John Candy re-incarnated

For my third trip into Sian's Storytelling Sunday I decided to share with you a story I first wrote in June 2007 on my old and now defunct blog when we only had the 3 monkeys the boys being 7 and 4 and my daughter having just turned 3 a few weeks earlier.

John Candy re-incarnated that is my daughter! The boys never caused me any problems like she does, they didn't touch things they weren't supposed to and they certainly did not try to eat liquid laundry detergent capsules! DD has to be different not for her the easy foray into childhood with the occasional head bump and the sometimes sickness that makes Linda Blair's turn on The Exorcist seem tame in comparison oh no.

A couple of weeks ago we went shopping, nothing fancy just your normal everyday supermarket shop for groceries. DS #1 was at school but I had DS #2 and DD with me and even though I always tell myself at the end of each shopping trip never again will I fall for the "Me want walk, me hole trolley, me goog girl" routine I still end up giving her a chance. So there we were neither child was in a seat in the trolley and both behaved amazingly well during the shop they only ran off about 10 times each lol.

We got to the tills and I deliberately herded them towards the last till in line furthest from the exit with the bonus they could only run off in one direction rather than them both bolting at the same time in different directions! At the end of the till was a photo booth, my kids are fascinated with them as they "talk" to you and so they ran into it to press buttons. Awful parenting I suppose but at least they were both in sight and not able to break anything so I left them to it.

Half way through the scanning of my trolley and with a growing queue behind me DD let out a loud piercing scream! Somehow she had managed to get her arm stuck behind the bar in the photo booth (like a bar in a disabled toilet to help them stand up). Her arm was bent so that her elbow joint was below the bar and her shoulder and hand above it and she was stuck fast.

Of course a major kerfuffle ensued trying to free her arm without killing her or more realistically dislocating her shoulder and an out of action till as I couldn't exactly go on with packing my shopping with her in this position. We had a gaggle of abour 6 staff around us I imagine I was the colour of a tomato and eventually one of the ladies had a bright idea and sent a young lad off to get washing up liquid and sweets. The washing up liquid did the trick and freed her arm whilst the sweets certainly stopped the screaming and DS #2's crying in sympathy. I now will not go anywhere near a till near a photo booth as I have a sneaking suspicion DD would repeat the "trick" just to get free sweets!

You would think that would be enough for one week wouldn't you? Nope, not at all, any idea how to get a bead out of a small child's nose? No? Two days after the photo booth incident I learned how. Both DS's were at school and I was quite happily sitting with DD both of us doing some crafting and colouring when she decided to see how far her beaded necklace would stretch. Of course ping the elastic breaks and beads fly everywhere. I am quite used to this and have a lovely cup full of beads to use in my crafting or re-string. Whilst I am scurrying around picking them all up DD has a brainwave of seeing if she can put a bead up her nose! Oh and she could but the scream that accompanied the pushing of the bead prevented her from doing matching beaded nostrils! I rang the doctors to see if there was an easy remedy to this and got told no i had to take her to A&E so they could check it.

So off I rush on the speakerphone to the schools whilst driving to let them know I am coming to collect the boys early (again) as I have to take DD to A&E (again) but no it isn't a possible dislocated shoulder this time but a bead up the nose and in the process awarding myself worse mother of the year!

Eventually after a half hour drive and a fifteen minute wait for a parking space I get into A&E. We are only there 5 minutes before the nurse calls us through and asks what happened. After hearing my explanation and taking a quick look she tells me there is a simple trick which may work but it has to be done by me.

"It has to be me does it?" I ask a little suspicious of what may happen when I follow these directions

"Oh yes it is much better of mum or dad does it is keeps the child happier and calmer" says she smirking at me

So I follow the instructions, gather DD onto my lap, put my finger over the un-beaded nostril and blow a short hard breath into my daughter's mouth. My suspicions are confirmed when I am struck in the cheek by a flying bead and then covered in blood and snot, lovely!

At least I now know how to remove a bead for any further times but it only works on hard things not soft items such as raisins. So no raisins for DD until she is 18!

Thank you for managing to get through this rather long post! I do hope you join in with Storytelling Sunday 2 I would love to read your tales :)